The Doctor's Vacation That Wasn't Meant To Be
by IWillDefyYouAll
Summary: The Doctor tries to get a tan on Malcassairo, but obviously fails epicly due to the Vashta Nerada, people interrupting, Goombas, and other stuff. Warning: FOURTH-WALL-BREAKING IS GUARANTEED TO ENSUE.


**Wow …I'm pathetic. This is by far the lamest thing I have ever written. Okay, so I was watching Doctor Who today (as usual; more time to relax with my inner nerd now that school is out for the summer…*sob* But I still have one more year of middle school...ah well.) and was suddenly inspired to write the most humiliating thing of my entire young life. Ah, well…. Yay! I came back from Animazement 14 two weeks ago and am a very, very happy me. (cos-playing as none other than Edward Elric) Enjoy this fresh batch of stupid-dorky-and all together rather confusing words.**

It was a rather pleasant evening in Magic-World, a.k.a. Malcassairo, where The Doctor was relaxing in a reclining arm-chair and watching the Malmooths toddle along with a placid expression on his face, then all of a sudden bursting out in giggles akin to that of a Japanese school-girl when two Blast-Ended Skrewts ran into each other and imploded. Suddenly, God reached down from Heaven and flicked The Doctor on his mop for a head.

"Have you been breaking the fourth wall again, David Tennant?" He boomed. The Doctor's eyes widened. "How do you know my name?" He shouted, then winced as God flicked him again.

"God knows all, David. As a punishment, you must perish!"

Two angels descended and The Doctor screamed like a woman. "IT'S THE WEEPING ANGELS!"

The angels looked at each other, shrugged, then slashed The Doctor with their cheap, plastic Tetsuigas. The Doctor continued to shriek like a woman until he died of being continuously thwacked with plastic swords.

Then, a cloud shaped like River Song appeared. "I told you soooo…" She sang. And it just so happened that a Goomba was riding on the cloud shaped like River Song and began to pelt the Blast-Ended Skrewts with mushrooms. Far, far away, The Master sniffed out the mushrooms and teleported to Malcassairo and began to eat the Blast-Ended Skrewts with the soggy mushrooms **(soggy mushrooms? It can only end in tears…)** plastered to their skins.

It also just so happened that Edward Elric felt his chibi-senses tingling somewhere else…whatever his planet is called and wherever it's located…anyway, he climbed into his TARDIS cookie-jar that he'd bought at a convention, which also-_also_ happened to be the perfect size for him **(I saw one of those at a convention, and it made the little screechy noise when you open the top. I loved it. Anyone else got one of those? …no one…?) **and transported to where everyone else was and gasped a gasp-ly gasp. He _knew_ that his hero senses were tingling! And yes, there is a fine line between hero-senses and chibi-senses.

The Doctor was crumpled in what looked like a rather uncomfortable position in his lawn chair. And he also happened to be dead. Ed immediately performed human-transmutation on him and actually successfully brought him back to life. But Truth took his red coat-robe-jacket-hoodie thing as equivalent exchange.

"What?" Ed shouted. "Wasn't my arm and leg enough?" But Truth merely replied that he'd only wanted the stylish coat-robe-jacket-hoodie all along. Edward began to cry and threw a tantrum in the corner.

Meanwhile, The Doctor was also crying. "I JUST WANTED A TAN!" He sobbed. He'd tried traveling to Manussa but only ended up with sand in his eyes, so he came to Malcassairo. Pride happened to be strolling along, dragging some Vashta Nerada along a leash and waved happily.

"Why's he so cheerful?" The Master had stopped eating long enough to look at Pride, then quickly resumed his own rapid nibbling on a lollipop…however he managed to find it was and still is a mystery. "Yeah," Ed added, who'd just appeared from his recent tantrum. "I thought he was on vacation in Tatooine, but it appears he was mistaken for a Jawa and the Vashta Nerada found him and now they have put together a little shadow-commune."

The Doctor whistled, then was eaten by The Master. Suddenly, a giant boulder flew out of nowhere and killed them all.

Except for the Master, of course, who had teleported to Kepteyn 5 and spent the rest of his life eating and partying with the butterfly-people. The End.

**Now, wasn't that magical? Okay, glossary time for all you uneducated people.**

**Malcassairo is a Doctor Who planet, consisting of a race called Mamooths. Manussa is also a Doctor Who planet that Is pretty much made of dust. Kepteyn 5 is a Doctor Who planet that consists of a race called the butterfly-people. (no joke.) Blast-Ended-Skrewts are fiery salamander-things from Harry Potter. God is…well, God. The Fourth Wall refers to different misc. media being blended together with the characters knowing it. (It's an inside joke) David Tennant is the name of the actor who plays the second-to-last-as-of-now Doctor Who. The Weeping Angels are Doctor Who aliens that are statues of angels that can move whenever you blink and/or look away and/or the lights are turned out, and then they strangle you or crack your neck or something. A Tetsuiga is the magical-sword that Inuyasha uses form the anime: Inuyasha. A Goomba is a little villain-getting-in-the-way mushroom-like thing from the Mario series. The Master is this anorexic-looking blonde guy-villain-hero who can't stop eating from Doctor Who and will pretty much eat anything that's set before him, including a wooden chair. Edward Elric is the main character of Fullmetal Alchemist. The TARDIS is Doctor Who's time machine. Truth is a white thing from FMA: Brotherhood that guards the Gate. Pride is also from FMA and is a homunculus who controls shadows and stuff. The Vashta Nerada are Doctor Who aliens who are flesh-eating shadows. Tatooine is a dusty planet from Star Wars. Jawas are the miniscule inhabitants of Tatooine. THIS WAS A ONE-SHOT, PEOPLE. NO MORE CHAPTERS.**

**GO HOME NOW.**


End file.
